I get depressed each time I look at my Facebook page.
The whole world seems to celebrate except me. They are either at glittering parties getting drunk and dancing with friends, or they sit down to lazy brunches in expensive restaurants savouring delicious food and fine wines, or they travel to exotic destinations with their best pals. And me? I slog out my nights and days in misery, all the while feeling more miserable just looking at these amazing Facebook creatures during work breaks, and imagining how wonderful it would be to live one of those brilliant lives.
Then my friend Dan comes home and tells me how terrible a night he had last Saturday, how boring the party was and how he wanted to escape and go home. That party? Boring? But I have seen his selfies, a la Bradley Cooper and Ellen Degeneres, happily posing for the mobile phone, showing himself in all his glory with our other friends, with all the appearance of a man having the time of his life.
Another friend of mine tells me over a Saturday breakfast how she was about to break up with her husband when she took her best-ever display picture on her Facebook page, over a year ago. Now, she is a happy single woman, all divorced and ready to date someone worthy of her time.
“That was just for Facebook, dude – who wants to look sad on Facebook?” she tells me.
I wonder then, is Facebook the latest materialistic bandwagon everybody wants to jump on? One is tempted to think so. Boys these days post at least one shirtless picture to show off their steroid-engorged bodies and proud, idiotic smiles. Those who can’t take off their clothes and show off what they have for fear of being unfriended, get tarted up in the latest fashion, and smile for Facebook. Girls are mostly together in a bar, their teeth bared in faux ecstasy, drinks in hand, always leaning on the shoulder of a guy. Or else they are in their nightdresses.
Everyone is joining the Facebook race, with no exceptions due to age, culture or computer literacy. I see grandmothers forming Kitty parties, housewives making their own secret groups, and husbands rummaging through Facebook pages in search of something exciting. All manage to present themselves as glamorous, busy, fascinating characters.
Then there are the elite profiles, those of guys and girls who are successful in the purely worldly sense. The profiles of actors, models and sportsmen see people thronging to their profile pages, with the requests to add them as a friend and finally be part of the elite group who parties, who has no thoughts or qualms about anyone, and who are basically full of self-importance. But sadly, these are the new idols of the younger generation, most of whom constitute the billions-strong Facebook community.
I know quite a lot of people whose lives suck in the real sense of the word. They are boring, selfish assholes in real life. But whenever I see their pictures on Facebook, they look respectable, hip, happening and fun to be with. That leaves me wondering! Am I the real culprit here? Because when I look at my FB pictures I know the man I see there is not the exact picture of myself that particular day at that particular time. So I wonder if everyone is doing the same on Facebook, or is it just me? Is everyone else genuinely happy, and is it just me who is faking for the pictures?
That is a question you should answer for me I guess. Meanwhile I have decided to post all my ugliest pictures, my dramatic experiences, my depressive phases and all the other unsavoury things that make the loser that I could be perceived to be. Let’s see how many comments and likes I get, how many unfriend me and how my self-esteem tanks!